Oh wow... well sometimes i feel like this.. all mixed up and frustrated as all hell just trying to figure things out and get set straight... last night i had Ryan over and i made spaghetti.. well it was all good but i was so embarrassed!! first off my roommate leaves stuff out all the time, and thinks that things like KETCHUP doesn't have to be refrigerated after you open it!! well he went to open the sauce, and it was moldy!!! ew!!!!!! are you serious! and i don't know... i really don't like being told what to do... if i mess up oh well... i mess up! i will figure it out on my own.. i hate it when people try and say oh you should of done this, or you should really do it this way! like are you kidding me?! I'm a smart girl, i understand the process of elimination! yea know?! i know he didn't mean to... he knows how to COOK! like for real, and i appreciate it but i get kinda cranky to be honest... and then to make things worse i make dinner for everyone... i don't really get to eat mine until its cold which is cool and all but then i get up to get something and my dog eats like half my plate!!!! and it was in the middle of the living room, its not like i have much stuff in my apartment! and no one saw her! i caught her way to late, i was so pissed off!! i think this coming week is just going to be awful... I'm gonna start my period tomorrow... and i think I'm going to be extra bitchy... and i don't like it! i tried to call johnny to talk to him and get this stuff I'm feeling off my chest and just let this stuff go to rest... but as usual.. i could have bet you... he didn't answer his phone nor did he call me back! :( i think that sad part is that i can tell when I'm getting used... its like I'm getting use to it.... I'm there no matter what when he needs me... but since he has been seeing her... not really, and all she does is hurt him... grr... i wonder after someone uses you (not johnny, Nate) do you think that ever guy will cheat on you? forever? will it ever leave your mind? or will you always be accusing them secretly in the back of your mind?? not being able to trust anyone... anytime! its a constant battle for me, i so badly wanna trust someone, but i look at them and i know it... its just not for me this act they play, but its for someone else too... will i always have to share someone? or will i ever be blessed with someone that wants me, always just me!? oh well only time will tell and only god knows... Matt finally called me! geez.... he sounds cute! lol my friends said he's "Hot Hot" lol we are gonna hangout tonight.... i have to go and do laundry! i think i can always put a load in an then go next door and use the treadmill for twenty minutes trade the load and then go again and then get ready to go out, i wanna go to the fair sooo badly! maybe tonight! that sounds nice huh!! i haven't been to a fair in a few years :( and i just missed the one back home ... so i kinda need to go to this one :) lol maybe a few times, yea know to make up for the last few years!! :) but i don't know...i need to get my nails done grr... oh well i guess it will just have to wait huh... oh and i cant wait to stay up all night tonight and sleep in late tomorrow morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
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