OK... so! us girls (Jen, Sarah and i) went out to the Longhorn... great country bar... and there was johnny and beesley, we are all having a good time, I'm getting drunk, and having a great time dancing and whatever,... oh and Jen was shocked that when i drink i get louder... weird... who woulda thought i would be the same or mellower? not em! lol anyways... beesley wanted us to come back to their house... so i had Jen drop us off... well beesley and Sarah ended up boinking!!! all night! and johnny and i were fighting the entire night, he made me cry for gods sakes... and he could care less... what a freaking jerk... he said some pretty mean stuff.. and then told me that i was a great girl but chantelle was better (if i had to put all of it into one sentence) isn't that mean! he said i give into him and she doesn't and that's what he needs... um OK... why does it feel like he is breaking up with me? lol weird... i never said i was trying to be with him! HELLO he craves drama... he grew up in a very unstable home... and therefor he is looking for the same in a relationship!! i feel so sorry for him.... its sad really... but i feel stupid for even going over their.. i knew it wasn't going to be a good idea... but nooooo i went so Sarah could get a little action... it had been three years since she had gotten any.. so i helped her out... and guess what.. lol i know this is silly but i love it... Johnny's little woman chantelle.. ha! she is jealous of me!!!! :) and johnny is jealous of Nathanael!! hahahahahaha i love it~!! cuz I'm not jealous of chantelle... not at the least! and that is the gods honest truth!
Nathanael is supposed to be coming out this weekend... i pray it really happens... i just wanna get it done and over with... I'm tired of waiting for it to really happen...i know he is still scared of having another long term relationship...and ya know that makes me feel good that he looks at us and knows it would last :) but i understand his point of view... but damn... it hurts..... i wish it didn't have to... ya know?
oh wow yesterday once i got home i crashed out for like 5 hours!!! and then woke up for about two and then went back to bed till this morning..... and I'm still tired! can you believe it? wow, i guess getting drunk sure does take a lot out of you.. well for me at least.. lol
well here it is... I'm not going to go over to Johnny's house after the bar anymore! its a complete waste of my time and energy... when all we do is fight and I'm over it... we can have our fun at the bar, but after that I'm done.. i need to regroup again! and get johnny off my brain, i shouldn't let the mean things he says to me , get to me... he isn't worth the time or effort.. right?!! ugh..
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