i miss him...

so no matter what i do ... i cant rid him from my memory.... i don't call or text him... i Do check out his face book... only because i don't have a choice... it shows every ones updates right on your page... he and i are friends... he called me the other week... he said ill talk to you later or if you wanna call me that's cool... or something to the effect... i want to call him so bad but i don't...I'm a good girl... but i cant help but listen to this song by crossfade over and over again.... it used to be his ring tone... when i had my other phone... and before i knew it.... it made more sense in our little "relationship" than i ever knew it would.... it hurts... i don't ever see him and rarely speak to him... but yet i cant shake him... whats that about!? how is that even possible... isn't it out of sight out of mind... the more hes gone the more i think of him, and i only have myself to talk to about it... because frankly no one even knows who he is except heather... and i rarely see her because of my schedule... its crazy busy during the week... ugh...i miss this man... he is everything to me... and yet he doesn't care or know... he might know... who knows!!! i don't even care... either way nothing will ever happen again only because i don't want it again... ill be hurt... end of story... it just sucks... my minds made up why cant my heart make up its mind too!?! i hate this feeling... i just wanna be fully happy.... i mean i am happy... with work, school, family and friends, my house and my babies (sevenn and jack) im great!! but when something happens and he pops in my head... my heart falls heavy and i wanna cry... i hate it... other than that... im good lol weirdo huh