Feelings...ha

I'm Sorry for being so damn emotional.
this time of year has not been so great for me in a long time... i don't know if you remember but sissy died June 23 2002 and daddy died July 27 2006.... i have a few things wrong with my that can compromise me having children.. and that's absolutely killing me! the thought of me never being able to have children is so hurtful. i have been having to go through all of this without my close friends and family... money... well don't we all have money problems... I'm not where i wanna be to help my best est best bird out with her wedding... I'm getting fat! er.... I'm getting my headaches again... I'm starting to wonder if its more than just my muscles that's making it hurt... and then for my best friend to blow off on me for being jealous of her.... that was just a low blow... but sure I'm jealous to see my best friend get married to the best man for her... and to watch all my friends have kids... and some friends graduating college already... OH WELL I'm a big girl... on my own for years now... with no help... oh well.... obviously god has other plans for me that don't include happiness, but please don't hurt me by saying i don't wish happiness for you... i love you with all my heart and i wouldn't want anything but the best for you.
Life is a tricky thing....im trying the best i can...