Ugh.... i have barley had any sleep all weekend... i stayed at my friend Amy's all weekend right... well i had the puppies their with me..and the little girls I'm going to start watching are 8 and 4 .... well they were constant about coming into my room where i was sleeping and waking me up! "can we play with the puppies?" UGH! i love those kids but omg... I was trying everything i had to keep my nerves down ya know! last night i went out with billy for some sonic... told him kinda indirectly that i didn't wanna go past friends but didn't quit say that! AH i know i should just out and say it... but i feel horrible! he is so sweet.... i told him about my medical issues, and how i just like to deal with it on my own... and i never want another man to ever touch me again... and he was like oh don't say that.. lol oh but sissy i mean it... kind of... hugging, kissing and stuff cool but nothing more.. for a long time.. till i figure all this out ya know? i go to the specialist tomorrow... :) cross your fingers again lol it work with the dogs the other day... but not last night :(... dang! anyways.... he walked me in ... and when i was letting him out.. he was like do i get a kiss? um no... lol he was like OK... but gave me a kiss on my forehead.. and was like well ha you got a kiss anyways... :) i like him but i don't think i like him in that way :( what do i do... when i see him.. i just cant say it... i even tried using my med issues! and they let me down lol he is so nice and sweet.. and just adorable! lol sissy.. come break it off for me :) oh wait your even worse at that huh lol damn your too nice... i need to find a ruthless friend huh... to do my dirty work for me haha! JUST KIDDING! but dumb enough i wanna stay friends with him... is that bad? he is so fun and nice and aah... i just don't know... either way I'm totally tired right now at work... i wanna sleep..and i came in here and i already have 7!!! new documents i have to process :( on top of a few lengthy requests... some file emails i have to prepare.. well not some.. about 20! oh i still have to clean out my data base.... and file my manuals!! and update new ones....and then i still have to build my SOP....(explains all my procedure i do to complete my job) cuz TECH PUBS as a department is getting audited :( ick.. now fun for me today lol oh and my friend at work.... Ron.. I've told you about him right? well he hooked me up with his friend... well kind of ... we just hung out and talked ... for like two hours... its was fun... i would have talked to him alllllll night.. he is gonna be 31 in Oct... in the top 10% of his Class... he is studying law! he is exactly my height... Mexican... i haven't dated anyone other than white since pattrick... and he looked white lol ya know? but anyways... he is really nice.. and i like it.. and he didn't try jumping my bones... i like that too... right now I'm just being friends... if more comes and i let myself go with it cool... if i put up a brick wall again... UGH damn me. lol but yea i didn't know if i had told you but my brick wall has made another appearance... :( I'm not letting anyone in past a certain point... billy is the only one i haven't stopped returning phone calls or ignoring them.. lol he is so nice but i still don't let it go past anything really.. Ive let him kiss me like three times... and i just feel so uncomfortable with myself... hmm weird... oh well I'm just praying everyday... i think god is trying to protect me from something ... so I'm just gonna go with that... no time to argue and go against gods plans right? lol oh bring me a pillow please! i will curl up on my floor right now!!! lol I'm so tired! i love you.... let me know if you guys make anymore plans... about catering or table decorations or anything!! OK!!! i love you lyssybird!!!
R*I*P Daddy.... its been three long years without the best man i have ever or Will ever know...i miss him dearly... but i am so happy he is watching over us.. and is with my sister and grandma... he is with our lord in Paradise... and he deserves nothing less...I LOVE YOU PAPA.... Xoxo
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